torturetric system

some time back i made the torture degrees temperature system as an ironic joke to make fun of the wars between different temperature systems

https://blog.ari.lt/b/the-best-temperature-system----degrees-torture--t%C2%B0-/

now, lets add more, the torturetric system

before anything, assume the math library is imported in python, all definitions here are defined in python and theyre all meant to be complex, make no sense and are useless ( for the sake of the reader )

# distance ( tourmiletre )

a tourmiletre ( tm ) is defined like this :

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def tm(m: float) -> float:
    return (m * 3.28) + ((1 / (((math.acosh(m) ** -math.e) ** -2) + math.pi)) * (9 / 5)) * math.pi ** (235 / 48) + 0.01832654 - m

where m is distance in metre

# mass ( kilogratourpound )

a kilogratourpound ( kgp ) is defined like this :

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def kgp(kg: float) -> float:
    return (math.pi ** (1 - math.tan((kg + 10) * 1.2481)) - 1.2) + 0.18425856487425207

where kg is mass in kilogram

# time ( tekond )

a tekond ( t ( not T ) ) is defined as follows :

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def tk(s: float) -> float:
    a: float = math.atan2((0.00000000172 - s + 0.1) - math.e, math.e)
    return (9.1286 - (math.degrees(a) + math.cosh(a))) / 100

where s is time in seconds

# electric current ( tampre )

tampre ( TA ) is defined like this :

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def ta(a: float) -> float:
    return (math.pi + a - 2) / 3

where a is current in ampere

# temperature ( torture degrees ( NOT degrees torture ) )

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def t(c: float) -> float:
    return math.cos((((c + 273.15) + c + ((c * (9/5) + 32))) / 3) + math.pi) + math.e

where c is temperature in celsius

# amount of substance ( tomole )

a tomole ( tol ) is defined as follows :

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def tol(mol: float) -> float:
    return (mol + math.pi * 2 - 1 + 1973 / 5 - 17 / math.e ** 2 + 273.15 * (9 / 5) + 32 / 3 / 19723218734) / 10000

where mol is amount of mols

# luminous intensity ( toltelama )

a toltelama ( tl ) is defined like this :

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def tl(cd: float) -> float:
    a: float = 1.1 ** (cd / math.pi / math.e / math.asin(math.cos(math.tan(cd))) + 1 / 0.1 / 100)
    return math.degrees(a + math.pi) + math.cos(a)

where cd is the luminance in candela

# wrap up

to convert units like kilogratourpound -> gratourpound, just devide by a 1000, just like the metric system, this torturetric system is metic-like

anyway, enjoy, this is the best system known to man !!