schrödingers crush

right so ... schrödingers crush

let me explain what a schrödingers crush even is, basically i just made this thing up, based off schrödingers cat, lets say ur in the same situation as me right now, u hate to love and love to hate, ur crush is basically ( although figuratively ) dead, which is what i will talk about today

i think ( actually i probably know ) that i have a schrödingers crush, i wont mention him by name, but lets call him idk jack if itll be relevant

anyway, ive been crushing on him since around 8 th grade, now im soon-to-be 10 th grader and im starting to have more of a hate for him than love, ive spent quite a chunk of time on him, worrying abt him, thinking abt him, generally crushing on him, its sad but it happens, oh well, most ppl just get over it, although if u spend enough time on a person and like them a lot like me, u develop a schrödingers crush, which is quite painful, i hate to love him is what im trying to say lol, ive had my fair share of rose tinted glasses by now and am seeing him now, like im not in anything serious with him but hes def more to me than just 'some rando idc abt'

anyway, few reasons :

i dont like the way hes perfect, like hes crazy perfect, all in looks, social life and skills, hes very attractive, as proven by literally everyone finding him attractive, hes opposite of what ud call bitchless, his proportions are good, hands a nice, hes tall and i find his voice somewhat pleasing but sometimes i just cant listen to it lol hes very social, friendly and nice and hes VERY skillful, hes like cracked at everything, hes wikipidia squared, he knows so much its just damn, ppl only having specific knowledge at something like me with it can beat him at one specific subject, hes so perfect its hard to see his flaws, which is very annoying, due to this everyone likes him, treats him as flawless and like some sort of monarch i feel like lol

... due to that, hes also very overpowering, lets take school as an example, right until he wasnt my classmate, i.e. this yr, to me he looked like the perfect, smart, cute guy, although this yr were classmates and i uh, thats no, bad, teachers love him and give him priority, even then, jack just talks, but if he doesnt everyone just expects jack to say smt at this point, only time its rlly not that bad to talk to him is when hes not in school, its not as overpowering and u just get less scared and actually have a way in something rather than being shut down by some 124 ( 🤓 nerding 🤓 nerd 🤓 idc abt ur paragraphs 🤓 shut up 🤓 talking to a wall ) nerd lol, i mean i feel bad for saying this but still, its annoying as a fellow classmate of his that hes like this, what makes it worse is that hes my crush

once, around the start of the yr iirc, he also pulled a 'dont let them know ur last move' move, basically we had to present our favourite person, i presented my best friend iirc or grandma idr, others presented their family and stuff, u will not guess what this smart ass of a man presented ... andrew tate, omg, andrew tate, that smooth ass egg looking mf whos a proven sex trafficker, misogynist and an abuser, thats HIS FAVOURITE PERSON, literally nobody expected that from him, the class went so silent when he presented him ... its just woah, anyway, thats my first huge red flag for him, but oh well right ? if he doesnt act on it or anything its fine ? right ????

i uh, yeah, uh, he acts on it 👍 obv not as bad ( actually idk, idk what he does in his free time lmao ) as andrew tate ( bc that would be illegal ), but def makes weird comments publically, for example in politics class we had like a lesson abt womens rights, he literally laughed at it, and not like its the only time, he did it multiple times, although i cant fully recall it, i def remember politics class, two incidents, 2 nd was abt abortion rights where he once again laughed at it

also one more weird thing, i cant recall if it was before the womens rights incident or after, but basically, in english class, him together with his friends were making fun of me being lgbt lol, like im fairly 'lgbt looking' irl and class knows i think lol, although i never said it directly, anyway, as ive mentioned it was english class at the time and when they made fun of me english teacher got so man, like yeah, i get it, but omg i literally almost started shaking, i got red and embarrassed, confused even, it was such a painful situation, like yes, im grateful for it, but oh god, i even asked 'what happened huh what huh' and she just shut me lol, i feel sorry for them,, but i mean,,,,,, i,, i dont think i do ? do i ? i mean idk tbh, eh, so this just adds to his pile of bullshit

anyway, i think this is enough to prove he isnt flawless like i thought and p much everyone to this day thinks, hes opposite of that and thats why i hate to like him, hes not what he presents as, hes fucking horrible, i mean, hes not horrible, but hes not good, omg, i feel like im giving him such a large chance to look good but hes fucking it over, its so annoying, its like the rose tinted glasses are superglued on me, im fucking over this so much, i hate it, its painfully hard to get over my feelings for him even though I WISH i could, i hate it, its bad and ew, i wish i just didnt need to see him lol, i wish i didnt feel anything for him and i was free to see him as just 'some weird nerd rando i dislike', wish i could see him anything but perfect, thankfully my rose tinted glasses are falling off at a rapid rate and i hope it stays this way lol

anyway, hope u never have to go though a schrödingers crush, get out of this delusion as quick as u can, get out of the rose tinted glasses stage as far as u can, i stayed in my delusion and now im here, crushes dont go anywhere usually anyway, so fuck it lol, drop it while u can