doml #6 -- 2023/06/27

🦞 crab

sorry for not updating yall for this long, i just dont have the energy to do anything lol

anyway, stuff that happened throughout the month+ that i havent written about my boring life lol,

most major thing what happened -- gave eating disorder recovery a try, as ive mentioned before, i struggle with anorexia, so i tried recovery, uh, that didnt go well, i tried at 05/28 and gave up at 06/10, i had no energy, i felt like shit physically and mentally, genuinely piss, i hated every second of it lol, it was torture, im basically stuck in it even though it doesnt bring me any joy anymore, i mean its a 24/7 coping mechanism that keeps me from going insane lol, once i started recovery i had 2 friends who rlly helped, but its not enough as bad as it sounds, i need medicine or something, i dont want to go to a lithuanian mental health hospital, its hell there with anorexia, they feed u 2000 kcal shakes, through tubes if needed, mentally they do shit and overall its just horrible from what ive heard lol, overall it sucks, but oh well, back to anorexia i guess

another major thing happened -- end of academic yr; at the end we had a shitload of tests, i felt overwhelmed and not good, did cry abt it ( skill issue frfr ), next yr ill be a 10 th grader, which means i had to pick an annual project to work on for school, subject i picked was psychology, more abt it in the future probably, its basically going to be a study of emotional health in the school

at around the same time the annual city event was happening, i hated it too, i feel like shit after shit like that lol

at the end of the academic yr, like last 2 ( ? ) weeks we had practical study days where we just do shit and as i picked biology and chem ( joined ) i did that --

overall it was ew

at 06/09-10 i worked on painting my laptop lol, its basically a space fight between linux, windows and macos and linux is winning, best i can describe it in text i guess and am not motivated enough to photograph it rn, maybe some other day but not now lol, i painted it with acrylic paint and did the sketch with a white pencil, i like it i guess

next days werent rlly eventful, it was random school shit and i did nothing as i was a dysfunctional vegetable, still am but getting better, then the summer break started, which is when a friend forced me out to a concert lol, wont elaborate further

honestly id write more, but i just dont care enough to, i dont have the energy, brain power or anything to continue ranting abt my boring ass life, goodnight